Imagine, you work on yourself until you reach your desired outcome in terms of your inner self- your emotions, your thoughts and habits.
Where will you be 1 year from now?
Where will you be 5 years from now?
Where will you be 10 years from now?
Is it honestly worth a little inner work to get these enhanced rewards?
Positive Voice Blog
Confidence: Mirror Image
Who are you when the lights go out: when no one else is there to see the truth, but you?
Imagine you're looking in a big mirror that tells nothing but the truth. See your life as it is now. What will happen if you continue to think, feel and act as you do now?
Where will you be in a year's time?
Where will you be in 5 year's time?
Where will you be 10 years from now?
Imagine you're looking in a big mirror that tells nothing but the truth. See your life as it is now. What will happen if you continue to think, feel and act as you do now?
Where will you be in a year's time?
Where will you be in 5 year's time?
Where will you be 10 years from now?
Confidence: A Child's Perspective
See yourself as you were when you were 8 years old. Notice what you're wearing and where you are.
What advice could you give your eight year old self?
See yourself through her eyes and notice what she sees. Notice how far you have come and all that you have achieved.
You didn't notice how quickly you were growing and maturing, but it happened all the same. Each new challenge brought you closer to where you are now.
Tell your younger self that everything is going to be alright. Take a moment to imagine that you're giving your younger self a big all encompassing hug. Notice how good it feels. Now, say goodbye to your younger self because this is the last time she's going to see you as you are now because you're going to continue growing and developing and maturing, aren't you?
What advice could you give your eight year old self?
See yourself through her eyes and notice what she sees. Notice how far you have come and all that you have achieved.
You didn't notice how quickly you were growing and maturing, but it happened all the same. Each new challenge brought you closer to where you are now.
Tell your younger self that everything is going to be alright. Take a moment to imagine that you're giving your younger self a big all encompassing hug. Notice how good it feels. Now, say goodbye to your younger self because this is the last time she's going to see you as you are now because you're going to continue growing and developing and maturing, aren't you?
Confidence: Inside Out
How are your current levels of confidence affecting your life right now?
Look around you now. What do you see?
Where do you live?
Who are your friends?
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. So, if you're not happy with what you see around you, start doing some inner work.
Look around you now. What do you see?
Where do you live?
Who are your friends?
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. So, if you're not happy with what you see around you, start doing some inner work.
Confidence: Separation from the Ego
Take a moment to imagine a rose bush. Notice how beautiful it is. Now zone in on one, tiny little rose bud. Now this rose thinks it is the entire rose bush.
This rose is very much like your ego. It is just one bloom, but it is totally unaware that it is not the most important part of the bush.
Your ego can be compared to an over protective mother. It wants so badly for you to remain safe, that it limits you. Like the rose, it often uses thorns to protect itself. The ego likes habit and routine.
This explains why we feel inappropriate levels of fear when we step outside our comfort zone.
Our ego keeps us small because to the ego, being small equates to being safe. But you don't want to stay small do you?
How certain are you about this?
What is confidence?
How certain are you that you're not confident? Do you have any proof that you're not actually confident?
What do people say about you? Do you trust their judgement?
What is it that makes someone like this an authority on the subject of confidence?
Are they confident? Could you model their certainty? Would you want to?
Do your current levels of confidence pose a problem?
In what way would you like to improve your confidence?
Are you alone capable of doing this or do you need some help?
This rose is very much like your ego. It is just one bloom, but it is totally unaware that it is not the most important part of the bush.
Your ego can be compared to an over protective mother. It wants so badly for you to remain safe, that it limits you. Like the rose, it often uses thorns to protect itself. The ego likes habit and routine.
This explains why we feel inappropriate levels of fear when we step outside our comfort zone.
Our ego keeps us small because to the ego, being small equates to being safe. But you don't want to stay small do you?
How certain are you about this?
What is confidence?
How certain are you that you're not confident? Do you have any proof that you're not actually confident?
What do people say about you? Do you trust their judgement?
What is it that makes someone like this an authority on the subject of confidence?
Are they confident? Could you model their certainty? Would you want to?
Do your current levels of confidence pose a problem?
In what way would you like to improve your confidence?
Are you alone capable of doing this or do you need some help?
Introduction to Confidence
As most of you know, I'm a Confidence Coach and Public Speaking Trainer. My aim is to help you become you your own coach, so that when the going gets tough, the only person you will need is YOU.
I have a series of tools to share with you over the next days and weeks.
I've purposefully created a variety of exercises in order to suit different thinking styles and needs. You may find it useful to have a piece of paper and a pen by your side, but you don't necessarily need one. Just read,respond, think and above all; FEEL.
You may wonder why some people are more confident than others. You don't have to be born confident. It's a skill that can be learnt. The antonym for confidence is uncertainty. The synonym is certainty.
How can you become more certain? What are you so UNCERTAIN about?
When have you been really certain about something in the past?
How did it feel?
Maybe it's something as simple as remembering that you brushed your teeth this morning.
How has your lack of confidence served you?
Does it serve you now?
I have a series of tools to share with you over the next days and weeks.
I've purposefully created a variety of exercises in order to suit different thinking styles and needs. You may find it useful to have a piece of paper and a pen by your side, but you don't necessarily need one. Just read,respond, think and above all; FEEL.
You may wonder why some people are more confident than others. You don't have to be born confident. It's a skill that can be learnt. The antonym for confidence is uncertainty. The synonym is certainty.
How can you become more certain? What are you so UNCERTAIN about?
When have you been really certain about something in the past?
How did it feel?
Maybe it's something as simple as remembering that you brushed your teeth this morning.
How has your lack of confidence served you?
Does it serve you now?
Beliefs without Limits
I received an email today from a lovely lady who I had a session with on Saturday. She said 'It can be difficult to not get down sometimes'. I think you'd have to be super woman NOT to get down SOMETIMES. After all, emotions are a very human trait.
I'm dedicating this blog to her plea for help. I can't promise that you won't get down from time to time, but I can still help.
In fact, it's not the getting down that I'm worried about, its how you get back up again that counts! I'm afraid this is your responsibility and I wouldn't have it any other way. My mission is to make you all your own coaches. I can't promise you miracles, but with a bit of dedication, I can promise that the lows will seem less low and the highs will become more frequent.
Have you ever heard of the saying: 'Every cloud has a silver lining'?
I'd like you to repeat this every time something 'bad' happens. It's all about cultivating a positive mindset. Don't let that 'bad' event win.
Instead open your heart and welcome that challenge that is serving to help you grow.
So, my first tip:
1. Positive thinking
When you cultivate a positive mindset, it makes it very difficult to upset you. My intention for you, is to be as 'at peace' as possible and getting upset about things that can't be changed seems not only self-indulgent, but
damaging. The only person you hurt when you let things get to you is YOU.
And here are a couple more:
2. Meditation
I discovered meditation just under a year ago. I'd dabbled before, but had never really got into it. It wasn't until I had done it every day for 4 months that I suddenly realised how good I felt almost ALL the time :-)
There are lots of different ways to meditate. I've read through various books, attended retreats and experimented. Here is my preferred technique:
* Clear your mind
* Focus on your heart
* Imagine a flower opening or a waterfall splashing though and over
your heart
* Focus on a feeling of love and tranquillity
This brushes away even the most stubborn of my emotional cobwebs! (I'll dedicate a whole blog to meditation soon)
3. If you feel down, indulge yourself (I don't mean by feeling down!!) Do something fun or relaxing- have a bath with music and candles, watch a funny film, read your most uplifting book, phone a friend or eat your favourite food (don't do this last one too often, as it may cause MORE misery in the long run! :-))
What's important here is that you BREAK your state. The positive thinking, the meditation and the positive self indulgence, all achieve this. Exercise is another great way to re-charge your batteries.
In short, show yourself the love, care and attention you need. Feed your mind, body and soul.
One last thing! Expect to gain more friends by using the above techniques.
Your positivity will rub off on all the people around you because that is how energy works. You will inadvertently make more friends purely through the virtue of opening up your own heart!
If the whole world did this, it would be a much happier place. Perhaps you can do your bit... As Mahatma Ghandi, famously, said. 'Be the change, you want to see'!
Good luck and let me know how it goes!
I'm dedicating this blog to her plea for help. I can't promise that you won't get down from time to time, but I can still help.
In fact, it's not the getting down that I'm worried about, its how you get back up again that counts! I'm afraid this is your responsibility and I wouldn't have it any other way. My mission is to make you all your own coaches. I can't promise you miracles, but with a bit of dedication, I can promise that the lows will seem less low and the highs will become more frequent.
Have you ever heard of the saying: 'Every cloud has a silver lining'?
I'd like you to repeat this every time something 'bad' happens. It's all about cultivating a positive mindset. Don't let that 'bad' event win.
Instead open your heart and welcome that challenge that is serving to help you grow.
So, my first tip:
1. Positive thinking
When you cultivate a positive mindset, it makes it very difficult to upset you. My intention for you, is to be as 'at peace' as possible and getting upset about things that can't be changed seems not only self-indulgent, but
damaging. The only person you hurt when you let things get to you is YOU.
And here are a couple more:
2. Meditation
I discovered meditation just under a year ago. I'd dabbled before, but had never really got into it. It wasn't until I had done it every day for 4 months that I suddenly realised how good I felt almost ALL the time :-)
There are lots of different ways to meditate. I've read through various books, attended retreats and experimented. Here is my preferred technique:
* Clear your mind
* Focus on your heart
* Imagine a flower opening or a waterfall splashing though and over
your heart
* Focus on a feeling of love and tranquillity
This brushes away even the most stubborn of my emotional cobwebs! (I'll dedicate a whole blog to meditation soon)
3. If you feel down, indulge yourself (I don't mean by feeling down!!) Do something fun or relaxing- have a bath with music and candles, watch a funny film, read your most uplifting book, phone a friend or eat your favourite food (don't do this last one too often, as it may cause MORE misery in the long run! :-))
What's important here is that you BREAK your state. The positive thinking, the meditation and the positive self indulgence, all achieve this. Exercise is another great way to re-charge your batteries.
In short, show yourself the love, care and attention you need. Feed your mind, body and soul.
One last thing! Expect to gain more friends by using the above techniques.
Your positivity will rub off on all the people around you because that is how energy works. You will inadvertently make more friends purely through the virtue of opening up your own heart!
If the whole world did this, it would be a much happier place. Perhaps you can do your bit... As Mahatma Ghandi, famously, said. 'Be the change, you want to see'!
Good luck and let me know how it goes!
Become a Stronger, More Confident Communicator
So, you've had some confidence coaching and you feel great. But what do you say to your colleagues? You have the confidence, but lack the words!
Or do you?
What do you say to your mum or close friends when you see them? I'm sure you show genuine interest in their life and well being.
Who do you consider your closest friend or family member?
What is it that they've got that other people don't have?
A possible answer to the above question could be. 'They care' or 'They listen to me'.
One of the greatest qualities of a strong communicator is the ability to LISTEN.
Nelson Mandela famously said (quoting the Greek philosopher, Epictetus):
"We have two ears and one mouth, so that we can listen twice as much as we speak".
One of the most giving things you can do is to show genuine interest others. This fulfils one of our most basic human needs: to feel loved, appreciated
and valued.
Ask them simple questions about their weekend and really show that you're listening to their answer. Ask them about things you KNOW they enjoy. It's all about striking up rapport and finding some common ground.
How do you feel when someone asks you where you got your shoes from?
How do you feel when someone asks for your opinion on something? I know it makes me feel valued and important when someone asks me for advice or seeks out my opinion on something. I also love being complimented :-)
Ask your colleague to recommend a restaurant if you know they eat out a lot or ask them where they get their gorgeous shoes from IF you genuinely like their shoes.
Once you've got rapport and won their trust, the words will pour forth!
Or do you?
What do you say to your mum or close friends when you see them? I'm sure you show genuine interest in their life and well being.
Who do you consider your closest friend or family member?
What is it that they've got that other people don't have?
A possible answer to the above question could be. 'They care' or 'They listen to me'.
One of the greatest qualities of a strong communicator is the ability to LISTEN.
Nelson Mandela famously said (quoting the Greek philosopher, Epictetus):
"We have two ears and one mouth, so that we can listen twice as much as we speak".
One of the most giving things you can do is to show genuine interest others. This fulfils one of our most basic human needs: to feel loved, appreciated
and valued.
Ask them simple questions about their weekend and really show that you're listening to their answer. Ask them about things you KNOW they enjoy. It's all about striking up rapport and finding some common ground.
How do you feel when someone asks you where you got your shoes from?
How do you feel when someone asks for your opinion on something? I know it makes me feel valued and important when someone asks me for advice or seeks out my opinion on something. I also love being complimented :-)
Ask your colleague to recommend a restaurant if you know they eat out a lot or ask them where they get their gorgeous shoes from IF you genuinely like their shoes.
Once you've got rapport and won their trust, the words will pour forth!
Breaking Bad Habits
Since I trained as a hypnotherapist and Neuro Linguistic Programming practitioner (NLP), I've worked on myself a great deal. Perhaps, one of my most powerful tools is my ability to coach myself through tough times. My goal is to help others to do the same.
It's important to check your responses to different situations if they are causing negative emotions to surface.
Let me give you an example. Relatively recently, I found myself getting emotional and grumpy one day when I was tired. I must have done this unchecked for years without questioning it. This was, undoubtedly, one of the least helpful patterns I was running. When I questioned it, I realised that there was a definite intention behind it- the signals I was sending out were 'don't mess with me,' 'I'm in a bad mood.' However, the person this was affecting most was me! I realised that all I needed to do was relax and take some deep breaths in order to release the negative tension I was holding.
The ego develops patterns because habits and routines make it feel safe.
Here's how to find out whether you're running patterns, which are detrimental to your emotional well being:
Ask yourself the right questions.
1. What is the emotion?
2. Is there some kind of pattern here? (is this how you usually feel in these circumstances?)
3. Is this serving you?
4. How is this emotion holding you back?
5. Is there a better way you could do this?
Einstein famously said: 'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'
Notice your patterns. Are they bringing you happiness?
It's important to check your responses to different situations if they are causing negative emotions to surface.
Let me give you an example. Relatively recently, I found myself getting emotional and grumpy one day when I was tired. I must have done this unchecked for years without questioning it. This was, undoubtedly, one of the least helpful patterns I was running. When I questioned it, I realised that there was a definite intention behind it- the signals I was sending out were 'don't mess with me,' 'I'm in a bad mood.' However, the person this was affecting most was me! I realised that all I needed to do was relax and take some deep breaths in order to release the negative tension I was holding.
The ego develops patterns because habits and routines make it feel safe.
Here's how to find out whether you're running patterns, which are detrimental to your emotional well being:
Ask yourself the right questions.
1. What is the emotion?
2. Is there some kind of pattern here? (is this how you usually feel in these circumstances?)
3. Is this serving you?
4. How is this emotion holding you back?
5. Is there a better way you could do this?
Einstein famously said: 'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'
Notice your patterns. Are they bringing you happiness?
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