My job has recently been transferred from the UK to an Asian country. With the move from my established position to a new challenging role in a new environment, I suddenly found myself lacking my usual level of confidence...

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Positive Voice Blog

What is Your Story?

Posted on Wednesday, January 11, 2012 by Positivevoice

What would you say if I told you that you were constantly re-affirming your strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes? In affect, you are constantly creating (and if you are pro-active; re-creating) yourself.

When someone asks you whether you are a good dancer, what do say?

When someone asks you whether you are good with your finances, what do you say?

When someone asks you whether you are a confident speaker, what do you say?

Look at your answers and ask yourself whether they are a reflection of your reality?

You see, you have within yourself two parts: the 'Thinker' and the 'Prover': what the Thinker thinks, the Prover proves.

If you say to yourself often enough that 'you can do something', this will become your reality. Equally, if someone else tells you that you are not good at something, if you believe them, then this can also become your reality. Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, speaks about how parents and teachers often cast 'black magic' on children by telling them what they can and can not do, by encouraging or discouraging them.

I often encounter people who believe that they cannot dance, or sing, or speak in public. If you are one of these people, I challenge you by suggesting that the only thing stopping you from fulfilling your potential is your beliefs about your ability. If you change your beliefs, then and only then, will you be able to change your reality.

You are not just the sum of your experiences, as I often say; you are the sum of your thoughts, feelings and words about these experiences.

So, in order to start changing your reality, start changing your thoughts, feelings and words!

You may well ask me how you can do this. My answer:

STOP

REJECT

RE PHRASE, RE THINK, RE FEEL!

This may not come easily, but do you think it was easy for Sir Edmund Hilary to climb Mount Everest when it had never been done before? Not easy perhaps, but definitely worth it!


Conflict Resolution

Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2011 by Positivevoice

I am often asked how best to appease conflict at work. Most of us have been faced with a challenging person at work at some point in our lives...

The first thing I ask people to think about is a time when they have been low on resources. By this, I mean a time when they were pushed to their limit. Most of us are familiar with the phrase 'the straw that broke the camel's back'. Just as some people are able to carry a heavier physical weight, we all have varying emotional thresholds. The important thing here is to empathise with people who are pushed to their limits. Don Miguel Ruiz also highlights the importance of not taking anything 'personally'.

It might be a little challenging at first, but just keep reminding yourself that it isn't about you, it's about them.

When you don't take things personally, you become untouchable.



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