Anxiety is a state that comes from within. Yes, of course external factors play a part, but the final decision as to whether you feel anxious is yours. Anxiety can be very useful, as it acts as a warning signal; If you feel anxious about an upcoming commitment, it usually means that something needs to be changed. If you need to pack for your holiday, the anxiety serves as a reminder to finish your packing. If you have a public speaking engagement coming up, perhaps the anxiety is a reminder that you need to prepare your speech. If you have been invited to your ex's wedding, then the anxiety may just be a warning sign that you shouldn't go! Only you can decipher your anxiety. Ask yourself BOLD questions and you will receive BOLD answers.

If your anxiety relates to things outside your control or you struggle to find a rational explanation for it, then my latest hypnotherapy audio may be just what you are looking for. Let go of anxiety now is available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon music.

Have you ever blamed other people or outside events for your state of emotional well being?

Have you ever thought, “I’ll be happy… when”?

If you’re anything like me, you will say ‘yes’ to both of the above statements.

However, perhaps, you’re also aware that your happiness needn’t be dependent on other people, places or things?

In fact, if it is, you are going to be on a constant emotional rollercoaster: “I can’t afford X” (cue very sad face), “She can’t make it to my party” (This is the END of the world), “I’ve just lost my job” (My life is over)…

BUT, it needn’t be like this! You see, with a few subtle tweaks to your belief systems, nothing will have the power to affect you in this way (well, at least not for long). Of course, we are all human, so it is normal to feel at least a little sadness or disappointment for a moment or two, but what is not ideal is to feel it ALL the time.

For instance, when I find that my little girl doesn’t want to take a nap during the afternoon, rather than focusing on all the work I can’t do (which I love, by the way), I focus on the things that we can do together. I usually say, “OK, let’s go to the park” and once we get there, I know we will run into some other lovely mummies and babies and have an absolute ball and then I can (almost always) guarantee that little Lola will sleep very well that night. You see, it’s all about being positive and solution focused. After all, negative emotions don’t change ANYTHING!

So, where do these feelings begin?

Well, thoughts, feelings and actions are intrinsically linked:

• When we feel something, we instantly look for meaning, which comes in the form of thoughts
• When we have a thought or say something, we instantly connect emotionally with these words or thoughts
• When we take action, this leads to and is preceded by thoughts and feelings

So, how do we control/ modify this automatic chain of reactions:

The Solution:

Each thought can be confronted with what I call, a ‘Counter Thought’. Imagine for a moment that you are your own coach. What would someone who wants the very best for you say? As I have already mentioned, it is all about being positive and solution focused. Here are just a few possibilities:

So next time, you don’t like the thoughts going on within you, come up with a great counter thought. When you’re feeling sad and don’t know why, rather than trying to give your feelings meaning*, take action to bring more joy into your life. Go out into the sunshine, search for solutions on YouTube or read a positive blog. Practice really does make perfect when it comes to this technique- eventually, it will become a natural reflex for you to come up with a counter thought or to take action to help yourself feel better. 

* If you would like to interpret your emotions, you can also do this. Check out my blog to find out how: Read more